The same mistakes keep repeating themselves

How do you apologize to someone after you tell them a terribly humiliating part of your past that they kept asking to hear and it ended up hurting them? Better yet how do you remind them that just minutes before something about their past absolutely crushed you and made you cry without looking like you’re trying to diminish how they feel? I haven’t updated in a while, I know. A lot has happened actually…but I still feel unmotivated about everything. Especially now. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck my beginning of the summer self. Fuck the 4th of July him. Fuck me for ever mentioning the beginning of the summer. Fuck me for telling half truths. Fuck me for knowing I’ll actually text some long thing at about two am because I won’t be able to sleep. Fuck tomorrow for not only having high chances of me crying but we have practice so I’ll see him longer. (Hopefully all will be hunkey dorey by then…but I am not sure of the chances)